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Jump-Start Her Heart…With a Mercedes

Jump-Start Her Heart...With a Mercedes

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“Hello, my pretty! are you going my way?” he asked, almost leaning out of the window as if the distance between his window sill and where the lady stood would prevent her from hearing what he said. “Of course!,” she replied enthusiastically, almost without thinking but drawn it appeared, by that new car smell that must have oozed out of the gleaming black box with matching blacked out alloys on low profile tyres. It was a not-so-attractive guy in his mid-30s, expensively dressed; in a swank Mercedes G-55 who had stopped at Shitta where a beautiful young lady was waiting for a bus to Akerele Street.

I was stunned when she got into the vehicle. I wondered why she got in without asking where he was going to. “Maybe they know each other,” I said to myself, trying to rationalize the lady’s action.

The next Saturday morning at the gym, I was telling my gym friends about a guy I had met at a party. I also told them we were to hang out later that day. “What car does he drive?” One of them asked expectantly, as if to gauge his worth from the car he owned. “He doesn't have a car,” I replied with a shrug of the shoulder like it didn’t matter. The look on her face was one of bewilderment. As she came round, she heaved a sigh and muttered how I could have time for a man who doesn't have a car, and walked away to punish the treadmill for my lack of ambition.

These days, getting and keeping a good girl anywhere in the world is one of the biggest challenges any guy could face. Here in Nigeria where it seems like love has been monetized and goes to the highest bidder — like an auction on eBay, it's much worse. There are several known ways that guys do it, some are normal and/or ordinary while others border on the outrageous; it all depends on the guy’s desperation and the girl’s "packaging". Some guys even go as far as borrowing expensive cars and incur huge debts just to impress the young objects of desire.

But why do some women fall for a guy because of his "nice ride"? Short answer? Security. Nothing says " I've arrived " louder in this part of the world than a guy's car. Nothing whispers "I can take care of you and your family" more eloquently than a shiny new "jeep".

And various studies have shown that women are immediately drawn to men who drive expensive cars. It is not the car itself but rather, the representation. In addition to the suggestion of security, an expensive car is associated with stability and opulence. The men behind those wheels must have a great deal of wealth, power, social ranking and top pickings where women are concerned.

Unfortunately, the men have caught on and mastered the game, much to the detriment of the keen womenfolk on the lookout for a good catch. It is not out of place these days to see seemingly powerful cars but with small tired engines from third party car makers. Or accidented cars from the US, carefully put together at LADIPO or at Berger and finished with gleaming auto base paint. Never mind the wobbly chassis or re-sewn air bag compartments; just as well most women can't tell the difference.

And so the game goes on, though with each generation, it's difficult to tell who's gaming who. Who really is the hunter and who's the prey? The scheming gents or the scamming damsels?

It hardly matters. At we now have access to spare parts for all manner of  cars, exotic, and the not so exciting. We just hope both parties are happy with their "transaction" before the rear axle drops out of the Mercedes while executing a three point turn in front of the latest night club on Adeniran Ogunsanya.

Long may young men feel the need to attract young women with their cars.


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